I have an obsession with blood, with the invisible past running through my veins and capillaries, pumping through my heart.

I want to untwist the skeins of my own DNA, unravel the path that has brought it to me.

I want to map my face, draw borders around each region of resemblance.

I am driven by a compulsion to uncover my past, to draw the lines that silently exist between my mothers and fathers and myself.  It is, in the end, a selfish quest – this is not for posterity, but for me. I operate subconsciously under the notion that locating the source of by blood will lead me to myself, a presumption that most likely has its flaws.  By uncovering the invisible, unconscious and secret journey I took through my ancestors to this place, to this amalgamation of their bodies, hearts and minds, I will in some measure discover my true self.

But it isn’t just that.

By renaming all those long forgotten faces, I repopulate the world. I invert the order and rebirth my progenitors.  By naming, I recreate life out of long-quiet death and forgetfulness. I name, enumerate, remember and we all live again – their blood is not mute within mine.

By remembering, I form my own monument to those that made me.  I owe them this much, to thank them, and to thank them by name.

why

© 2007-2010,

Rebecca Fenning.

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