// current face

ethel kalisch

frank and ethel, 1990

Thanksgiving 1990?

Sometime right around when this photo was taken (I think this must have been Thanksgiving or sometime around then), my grandparents gave me an aquamarine ring as a Christmas/Hanukkah present.  They died not that long after and for the last 21 years, I have spent almost every minute wearing that ring. It has become almost like a superstition — what if something happened to me and I wasn’t wearing it?  What if I left it at home and my house burned down?  It is a way I can carry them around with me, a mechanism for remembering them, though I don’t really need one.  It is also, I think, a way to remember myself because when they died, I sometimes think my childhood did, too.  I learned what pain was, what loss was, and I have never been the same.

Sometimes I am not even sure what it is that I miss, except that it seems like something essential I once had.

Frank Markus Hoffer (1909-1991) and Ethel Kalisch Hoffer (1918-1991), center,
me, age 9 1/2, top left

Discussion

2 Responses to “frank and ethel, 1990”

  1. Jena A
    Beautifully written details from a beautiful memory~!! It’s always great to have a tangible reminder of loved ones, and how fortunate you are to be able to carry yours wherever you go.
    P.S. (Now) your sister looks exactly like your mom circa 1990.
    Sunday, January 29, 2012 – 10:22 AM

    Heather
    Beautifully written memory about something I know is so dear to you. Now I know why! I can’t imagine you without that ring!
    Sunday, January 29, 2012 – 10:57 AM

    Rebecca
    Thank you, ladies!
    Monday, January 30, 2012 – 10:42 AM

    Posted by rebeccafm | March 29, 2012, 7:29 am
  2. Thanksgiving at the Coldwater Canyon house, your dad, Don took the picture, Kathi’s pregnant with Charlie.

    Posted by helene | February 26, 2013, 7:21 pm

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